Dad Picking Up Child Before 6 From School Agains Agreement

We had to fight in court to protect my stepdaughter from her mother, then my daughter'southward ex tried to take her kids. This is what I learned.

When a parent withholds a child from another parent, it's traumatic for the child and the parent who's missing their son or daughter. — When a parent withholds a child from some other parent, it'southward traumatic for the kid and the parent who's missing their son or girl.

Walt Stonebruner via Flickr. CC-By two.0

What Tin can You Do If Your Ex Takes Your Kid?

When your ex refuses to obey your parenting or custody understanding, there are just a few means to get your kid back:

Practice what yous tin to convince your ex to render your kid.
If you can persuade your ex that his or her behavior is harmful to your child and not in their all-time interests, yous may be able to go your child back and avoid costly litigation, but you lot will need to have appropriate legal action to ensure information technology doesn't happen once again. According to Nicole Sodoma, child custody and family constabulary attorney, "Equally unproblematic equally information technology may audio, the best commencement footstep may be to merely communicate with the other parent in a calm manner—email and text so that at that place is a clear endeavour with prove to support it. Don't avert communicating with him or her—burying your head in the sand hoping that the other parent will do the right thing won't bring the resolution you hope."
Go the civil court to authorize constabulary involvement.
While this is the nigh time-consuming and expensive option, it's the one with teeth and the best recommendation for getting your child back. Courtroom orders are essentially laws that are enforceable by police. When you have valid court orders, you lot take a durable set of boundaries that you and your ex are supposed to stay inside. If the police can be enlisted to ensure the orders are followed, you and your children volition exist safer.
Your kid may "run away" and render to you.
This is emotionally risky and might be physically dangerous as well, depending on your circumstances. This is not recommended only if your kid does this, let the constabulary know. Every bit far every bit the police go, runaways are not a priority unless considered missing or endangered, so you will need to inform the police to tell them you did not kidnap the child and that the child is condom. Even so, don't allow your child out of the house if the police or your ex want to talk to them until you get sound legal communication.
Take the child yourself.
This is the riskiest and least recommended since information technology can endanger yous and your child emotionally, physically, and legally. It also invites the other parent to practice the same and might violently escalate the antagonism of the state of affairs. Exist certain yous aren't violating whatsoever laws or court orders if you don't want this method to backfire on you! This is NOT a method I would recommend except in very dire circumstances. Kidnapping your own child can have unexpected and ongoing negative consequences for everyone involved—consequences that may affect you all for many years to come.

Below, I hash out the best legal ways to get the law on your side and how to bridge the gap betwixt the civil courts and the law enforcement agencies you'll need to help y'all go your child back.

Can the Police Enforce Child Custody Agreements?

When information technology comes to enforcing custody and visitation, police force agencies nearly e'er say, "Lamentable, that'due south a civil matter," even though the beliefs of the difficult parent is distinctly uncivil!

What they're really saying is that enlisting the help of the civil courts, not the criminal justice system, is the way to handle family matters, because the police don't recognize that a crime has taken place. In order to involve the police, you must accept a court order signed by a judge.

So even if yous take full custody, the police force will not interfere in most circumstances unless y'all take a court order.

What to Practice Right Abroad if Non-Custodial Parent Won't Return Your Child

First, let me suggest you that you probably won't be able to go your child back correct away without fatigued-out stress and drama, merely you should definitely take these steps as soon as possible:

i. Get a lawyer.

Contact a local family law firm as presently as yous can. There will be many papers to file and obstacles to maneuver, and you're going to need all the assistance you can become. According to Nicole Sodoma and Nadia Margherio, child custody and family unit police attorneys, "Recall though that litigation tin can be time-consuming and not all filed actions provide whatsoever firsthand remedy. In addition, the longer you wait to file an activity, the harder it may be to disengage the impairment or precedent that has been ready."

2. Collect documents and show.

You need to organize yourself and create files of all the of import and relevant documents. According to Dallas family constabulary chaser Christine Leatherberry, "A parent needs to brand a demand for [the noncustodial parent] to return the kid in writing by text or email (to show the judge at a contempt hearing). You lot'll also need to have on manus any documents, letters, texts, etc. that support or validate your experience. The court volition demand proof in lodge to take action.

Agreements, orders, and judgments.
All relevant texts and emails.
A log or periodical documenting whatever visitation-related incidents.
The names and contact data of any relevant witnesses.

3. Attempt to get a restraining order.

If you lot believe your child (or yourself) is in danger, accept y'all attorney file for an gild of protection. No affair what state you lot are in, the courts will have a procedure to hold an emergency hearing to determine if you or your child needs protection. If it is determined that protection is needed, the guess will consequence an order of protection, also known every bit a restraining order. If y'all are granted a restraining guild, your chaser should specifically include language that specifies that the constabulary accept the authority to choice up and render your child to you.

To seek a restraining society, you'll need to document that a risk exists. Locate and report any previous incidents of physical or emotional abuse, illegal drug use, excessive drinking, or psychologically-disturbed or risky behaviors that you want the estimate to consider. You should bring any photos, doctor's reports, or other documents that support your claims, like old emails or text letters that talk over whatsoever of these things.

four. File for habeas corpus and a writ of attachment.

According to Dallas family law attorney Christine Leatherberry, "if y'all don't have a court gild, and then you will demand to obtain habeas corpus and a writ of zipper to become your child dorsum." A habeas corpus just means a "torso of evidence," and it's a writ that requires that a person be brought before a estimate or into court.

5. Seek a temporary order of custody.

If no custody guild exists, you lot will need to seek a temporary society of custody. The courtroom will consider what is in the best interests of your child. Here's the documented information you'll need to provide:

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Why Can't I Just Take My Child Back Myself?

According to former-law-officeholder-turned-attorney Brandon Holt, "As a homicide investigator in Georgia, I investigated trigger-happy crimes that arose during exchanges when 1 parent refused to give dorsum the kid and the other parent tried to forcibly have the child back. While it is truthful, as a matter of logic, that taking your child is getting the kid back, the problem is it becomes a very loftier-risk situation and the child is witness to it all. Emotions are extremely high and the likelihood of violence is smashing. Consequently, this method commonly makes everything worse for everyone, including the child. Unless the kid is in immediate danger or in that location is a credible threat the other parent is going to take flight and never return, I would not propose taking back the child back by yourself. A recipe for disaster."

Attorney Brandon Holt had fifty-fifty more to say: "the parent who attempts to accept the child back may be in violation of a parenting plan or courtroom lodge. Information technology happens ofttimes that parents misread their ain parenting plans. Wrongfully taking the child back, therefore, non only exposes the parties and the child to a loftier-take a chance situation but it too exposes that detail parent to potential antipathy of court claims."

In other words, non simply do you lot risk violence, emotional distress, and existence in violation of your own agreements, but you could be charged for kidnapping yourself. It's amend to follow the proper channels, even if they seem fatigued-out and hard.

Getting to court may seem costly, stressful, and difficult, but it is the one way to solidly protect your relationship with your child. — Getting to court may seem costly, stressful, and difficult, but information technology is the ane fashion to solidly protect your relationship with your child.

Elliot Brown via Flickr. CC-Past two.0

"You'll demand to get a habeas corpus and a writ of attachment if you want the sheriff's section to help," said the deputy I spoke with. "We don't recognize orders from out-of-state."

How to Prevent Your Ex From Taking Your Child Away From You

Hopefully, if you follow the steps listed to a higher place, you'll detect a solution for your state of affairs and effigy out how to prevent it from happening again. However, my experience has shown that the problem parent will discover every possible loophole and alibi to make life hard on you and your child.

Hither are tips I learned to make things easier (not that they are e'er easy!):

Keep thorough records. And I don't hateful on your telephone: Impress and organize all relevant documents and communications. 3-ring binders are absolutely necessary for this process. I used 1 for court orders, one for email records, police reports, and notes I fabricated nigh conversations, and another for receipts and financial data that affected our case. Eventually, all three of my 3-inch-thick binders were total.
Know the laws that utilise to your case. The UCCJEA applies to almost every custody case. Parental interference with custody laws may besides apply. Understanding the registration process thoroughly will assistance you guide constabulary officials who may not be upward-to-date on the processes (in my feel, few of them were!).
Ever remain calm, polite, and rational when dealing with the police agencies or courts. There are multiple reasons for this. You want their reports to reflect that they encounter y'all equally a rational, reasonable person, and if they empathize with you it'southward probable to come up across in their reports, which y'all may need to use at futurity hearings. You do not desire the police to feel like you're telling them how to practice their jobs or trying to dictate to them, so express understanding about the limitations they're working with and show a cooperative attitude in all your interactions with them, even if you disagree.
Build your own case. Don't look your attorney to provide your evidence for you.
Hire an chaser that is very experienced in family unit matters and comfortable going to trial. Many attorneys dislike trials and can drag your case on and charge a lot of coin doing it. A more than expensive, aggressive lawyer might save you thousands.
Never violate country laws or courtroom orders yourself.
Exercise not make statements you can't prove. Only because you recall the court will award you custody because your ex drinks too much, information technology's an empty threat until a judge signs on the dotted line. Empty threats and mistaken assumptions near what the law says can make you look foolish and hurt your case.
Pay your attorney in a timely fashion. You lot may need his or her assist over again.

What If Your Ex Takes Your Kid Out of State?

Custody agreements sometimes forget to include details about vacations and relocations. Oftentimes, the non-custodial parent doesn't get much say, although every state is different. Not only do states take different move-away laws regarding custody, just they also interpret agreements differently and often reach different decisions. If your ex takes your kid out of state, you may need to petition the courtroom to modify your custody club to address those changes.

Your State's Laws for Getting Your Child Back From the Non-Custodial Parent

State laws govern what rights and duties both the custodial and non-custodial parent accept. Fifty-fifty if you were never married, in most states, the law will consider 1 parent equally a primary custodian. However, in some states (like Texas), neither parent is granted custodial status unless at that place is a court lodge that specifies one parent as custodial.

What if my ex takes my child out of the country?

In matters of custody, international kid abduction is a common fear. If you share custody then you lot both have the right to oppose a decision to go out the state. Cheque the terms of your custody guild. Also note that US Federal Law requires that both parents sign a passport application for a child nether 16 years of age, unless one parent has sole custody.

Can Kid Protective Services (CPS) help?

CPS's purpose is to remove kids from abusive situations, not help parents fight for custody. In fact, calling CPS can sometimes make things worse. Read Kid Custody Battles and Child Protective Services (CPS) for more information.

What are the male parent'southward rights?

Paternal rights vary from state to state, but they always depend on whether or not the parents were married. If they were non, the mother always has sole concrete and legal custody and the father has no legal right to custody or visitation unless he convinces and persuades the court otherwise.

What if we have articulation custody?

Policies vary from country to state, merely yous'll likely have to file a contempt action confronting the other parent if they're not upholding their agreements. You might demand an order for modification of your kid custody understanding or you might try to take legal custody abroad from your ex.

What can I do if my kid's begetter won't return our child afterwards visitation?

First, find out the reason and go from at that place. If you take a custody order, then y'all might be able to involve the police, merely if not, you'll need a lawyer.

Why Is Your Ex Refusing to Return Your Child?

Information technology is important that you try to find out why your ex has taken this drastic action. According to Nicole Sodoma, kid custody and family law attorney, "In our police force practice, with and without a court order, it is almost routine to hear that i parent is refusing admission to the other parent or denying visitation. The scenarios can range from a tween wanting to spend time with his friends and refusing to go far the car, to allegations of physical abuse [...] information technology is best to understand the goad for and the veracity of the position. WHY is the parent refusing to deliver the child or denying admission?"

Understanding the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA)

Let me encourage you to go familiar with the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, because it will almost certainly form the foundation of your court case. (As of this writing, every country and territory of the United States have adopted the UCCJEA, except Massachusetts and Puerto Rico.) If you understand the UCCJEA, yous'll be miles ahead of the battle when it comes to getting your child returned to yous.

The UCCJEA was designed to cut downwards on parental kidnapping and "forum shopping," a term that describes when a parent moves to a state where they tin can file a new case in order to obtain a more favorable custody deal.

Under the UCCJEA, the courts must examine which state has jurisdiction over the child. Even if you live in the aforementioned state as your ex, y'all should go familiar with this law because many parents go to extreme measures when information technology comes to their children!

Ane adult female in Arizona thought she couldn't file for custody after her ex snatched their son from a bus terminate and removed him to another state. She did non know where her child was, and so she assumed she couldn't file a lawsuit. Her ex kept his location in Oregon a secret for many months, then filed for custody. When he did, she discovered that considering of the UCCJEA, she not only was able to file for custody in Arizona, she was able to prevent the Oregon courts from accepting the custody case at all.

This is ane of several examples discussed in the Office of Juvenile Detention and Delinquency bulletin'due south review of the UCCJEA. This is the best overall guide I've found for the average person to get a great overview of the police force. Reading the document volition help you sympathise:

How and why the police was developed to foreclose parental kidnappings.
What a court considers when deciding whether it has jurisdiction.
What happens when ii states are involved and both parties want to use the court in the country where they're located.
What grounds are allowed for contesting a jurisdiction conclusion.
What is necessary for police agencies to act on court orders.
Additional laws, agencies, and further reading related to custody, visitation, and constabulary enforcement.

Attorney David A. Blumberg specializes in interstate custody cases. His website offers a thorough flowchart serial that will aid you lot use the UCCJEA'south principles to your specific circumstances.

Parental Kidnapping

Why It'due south Of import to Remain Calm When You're Not Calm at All

When a deputy showed up to take my stepdaughter and plough her over to her mother, I knew that the court order authorizing him to do and then was obtained illegally. I was at-home when I informed him that I would not allow the immature lady to step exterior the firm, just agreed that he could speak to her through the door. He told me, "Ma'am, we're non fixin' to accept a trouble here."

I replied, "Yes, sir, we are, considering that's not a valid court order." Over again, understanding the police helped, considering I went on to explain, "I know you don't know the details, merely nosotros weren't served detect of whatsoever hearing, and therefore, our constitutional rights accept been violated if she is taken from here. I assure you lot that I will have action to the fullest extent of the law if this child is removed from u.s. illegally." He called the judge, who checked whether we had been served with a find of the hearing. After finding that nosotros had non been, the judge ordered the deputy to leave my stepdaughter until the case was heard again with proper detect to all parties.

If I had been over-emotional or offensive, I might have concluded up in jail, and my stepdaughter would have been six states away past the time I got out.

E'er Put Your Kid's Health and Safety First

In all cases, instead of blindly fighting for your rights every bit a parent, it's best to first consider your child'south needs and mental health. Think about the mental and physical repercussions of playing tug-of-war with your kid. Even if the other parent plays dingy, stick to your agreements and play fair for your child's sake.

What Is Parental Alienation Syndrome?

You should also get familiar with Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) and make up one's mind if it may be affecting your child. PAS happens when one parent targets the other parent every bit undesirable and unworthy to be in the child'due south life, poisoning the kid confronting the parent and potentially forcing a sense of inferiority in the child who now believes he or she is the product of a defective parent. Parental breach is also when one parent psychologically manipulates a child into being fearful, disrespectful, or hostile towards the other parent or family members, and it's a form of child abuse. Don't e'er stoop to this level as information technology will surely have negative emotional repercussions on your children and your relationship with them.

Is Parental Breach Happening to You?

Although parental kidnappings may not involve parental breach, they ofttimes go hand-in-hand. This video shows how traumatic visitation can become for a kid who is expected to hate 1 of their parents and refuse visitation. In this video, it may appear that the mother is "supporting" her daughter because the teen says her begetter doesn't intendance nearly her feelings and "e'er do(es) this" to her, but it'southward very possible that the daughter will face emotional corruption and withdrawal of her mother'south affections if the girl does not behave in a manner that alienates her father.

Parental alienation syndrome is inherently abusive simply very hard to discern because the targeted parent may be seen equally demanding and unreasonable by the violating parent, who has coached the child to dislike and avoid the targeted parent.

Custody Interference

My Girl's Ex Wouldn't Return Their Child From Texas

Child custody and visitation can be ane of the hardest aspects of parenting. I attorney—our tenth—told my ex-husband and me, "Your case is one of the virtually complex I've ever dealt with. It'southward more than involved than the murder case I'one thousand working in Ft. Riley."

I believed him. Our custody boxing had begun most eight years earlier. Courts and constabulary agencies from five different states had been involved at i point or another. I'd compiled thousands of pages of court orders, interrogatories, IRS audits, transcripts of recorded conversations, and more.

The instance involved my husband's daughter, but it affected my children, too, who often stood past helplessly waving at their stepsister who wasn't immune to walk out the door to talk to them and had to stand guard at school and report if her mother, my husband's offset married woman, was in the parking lot trying to kidnap her.

My kids compared the pain they saw her get through with their own experiences of their dad's (my ex) and my cooperation. To tell the truth, there wasn't much cooperation, but they didn't see what actually happened, which was me surrendering many important aspects of their babyhood in social club to forestall them from existence traumatized.

Unfortunately, my oldest girl'southward perceptions of "continue to get along" resulted in her losing her son briefly when his dad refused to return him from visitation...for the second fourth dimension! I was able to share with her important things I'd learned and so that she did become him back in a affair of days, and now I share them with anyone who finds themselves in this kind of tragic situation.

My grandson was held by his male parent, who said he would not be returning the pre-schooler home to my daughter. They'd never married, then they never divorced, and no custody agreements had been drafted.

The police may not be able to help deliver your child if you have missed any of the steps needed to prove your right to the child and prove their ability to assist you. — The police may not exist able to assist deliver your kid if you lot have missed any of the steps needed to prove your correct to the child and prove their ability to assist you.

MTA Photos via Flickr. CC-Past 2.0

About Getting Your Kid Back

I'm sorry you're going through something like this. I can chronicle likewise well to the kind of intense stress it puts on everyone in your family. Looking back, I wonder if we did the correct affair when nosotros fought against the parental alienation syndrome that led to so many years and dollars spent in courtrooms around the state.

In our case, my stepdaughter lived with her mother, simply we were awarded custody because of how extensively she was emotionally abused when she did not reject her dad. As she became a teenager, yet, the young lady in question became convinced that she would lose her mother's dearest entirely if she didn't comply with what the mother wanted. Then the mother added an incentive of a free machine as long equally the young woman would agree to date boys. Crazy, yes, simply too constructive. My stepdaughter complied with her mother's plan to disappear to another land when she was sixteen.

Today, she has a good relationship with her male parent. I don't know if she would have one at all if he hadn't fought so hard to continue her in his life. On the other hand, I also come across her low conviction and poor self-esteem and I understand exactly how information technology came near. She now has children of her own and may be alienating her oldest kid from his own begetter, merely I am not in touch with her enough to know for sure. I certainly promise that's not the instance, only PAS does tend to repeat in later generations.

In that location aren't any easy solutions, but I wish you the very best in getting your child back and helping him or her have happy, harmonious relationships with both of the people who are most important in their life.

Farther Reading on Parental Breach Syndrome (PAS)

Putting an End to PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) - Divorce, 2nd Marriages & Stepparenting
Divorce oftentimes brings out the worst in two people that at one fourth dimension may have felt deep feelings of love for i another. It'southward simply human nature to want to observe some outlet for those feelings of loss, disappointment, regret, or even failure that general
PAS Assist - Parents Who Have Successfully Fought Parental Alienation Syndrome - by Jayne A. Major, Ph
Relieve your children in difficult PAS cases.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author's cognition and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

Questions & Answers

Question: My ex-husband took my kids for his time and has not returned them, proverb they're rubber there. My kids are acting against me, likewise...Well, my girl. And her male parent is spoiling them! They were never hostile towards me before just recently they became like this - the way they talk to me, everything! I have physical custody. They are supposed to alive with me, with him having visitation. What do I practice? I went to sheriff they told me to file a visitation violation, which I did.

Answer: Now you need to outset talking to an attorney about your ex's contempt of court, and interference with custody. In some places, this is a felony. You lot should also become familiar with the topic of parental alienation.

Question: My ex came into my home and took my baby without my knowledge. The cops said I can't go get her back. Do they have this right? We were never married?

Answer: Police force officers are not attorneys! Whether he or yous has a right to your baby depends on your land'due south laws, and might be related to whether he is on her nativity certificate or not, or whether yous two ever presented yourselves as married, and other factors. An attorney could requite you more reliable answers.

Question: My ex disappeared with my daughter on July 5th, 2017. I tin can't find anyone to help me. What do I do?

Reply: That's horrible! If the police agencies aren't helping you lot, you might effort hiring a individual detective, especially if you tin can locate i with face up recognition technology access. Information technology'south pretty hard for people to stay completely off the radar these days, so hiring someone who can monitor for social network appearances can help.

Question: My ex and I don't have courtroom custody in place for our child. She has lived with me for eight years in NM, and went to visit in NC for the summer. I but got served papers because he and his new wife want permanent custody. They won't send her back. What do I do?

Answer: Consult an attorney immediately! The Compatible Code of Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act has some guidelines about which land will exist able to handle a custody example, and the longer your kid is in that land, the easier information technology is for your ex to succeed.

Question: My daughter's dad got full custody of her six months agone, but she still lives with me, and lived with me before he got custody. However, he doesn't really see her or provide for her. Tin I regain custody of my daughter?

Answer: If y'all want to regain custody, you will demand to file a motion to ask the court to reverse custody. If you tin can document that he is not interacting regularly with her, not housing her, staying active with her schooling, and so on, it's possible that the court could decide to alter custody. An attorney can amend guide yous.

Question: My ex whom I was never married and had not attempted to be in my six-yr-old daughter life for half dozen years picked upward my daughter and so concealed her before establishing paternity. What do I exercise to get my baby back?

Reply: Talk to an chaser and put together bear witness of the steps he took. Witnesses, documents, a diary of dates, times, and activities that are relevant. Evidence that your daughter's family and friends where you lot are are as important as or more important to her life than the ones she's around now, if that's true. Put together everything that shows you are providing well for your daughter, that he was deceptive, and that it's amend for her to be with you. Then let your chaser do his or her job.

Question: In our agreement, my ex gets our 3 children two days a week and every other weekend. He in one case merely took them for i twenty-four hours and every other weekend. Is at that place monetary value put on the days he has them, or is it his choice?

Respond: I'yard not an attorney who tin tell you for sure, as different places have different laws. In my personal experience, there has never been a monetary value on fourth dimension spent or not spent.

Question: I am writing regarding my girl who has been abducted by her begetter from Arizona 11 years ago. I have found her in Idaho and need a new guild to be fabricated so I can have her picked upwards. I obtained an emergency society of protection in Arizona, simply it could not be enforced as he has disappeared with her and has been on the run since. How can I become a legal representative?

Respond: Obvious disclaimer: I am non an attorney, and this is not legal advice, and so delight discuss any suggestion I make with someone who actually knows the laws in the areas where you demand to accept action!

I believe if you contact the clerk of the court, you tin file a copy of the orders you received in Arizona, which allows local regime to accept activeness on them. Without that, they're probably going to say it'south a civil matter. With the paperwork filed with the court, information technology might be possible to get the police force or FBI to return your daughter to you lot. Please consult an attorney earlier yous take these actions, though, as each land does things differently and laws modify often.

Question: Neither parent was awarded custody of our girl, and he won't give her back. Can I become to NC and steal her dorsum?

Respond: I have no idea what state you're in, what your state's laws may be, and I'm not an attorney anyway, but I firmly believe that separating a child from one of the two most important people in her life is emotionally abusive, so I hope y'all find another solution.

Question: I was granted temporary custody for my four children v years ago. During that time, I let mom back in our lives; so she took my kids without my permission while I was at work. We are married. What should I do and did she intermission any laws?

Reply: I'm non an attorney. I'k not familiar with the terms of the custody order that applies to your family. Each state has dissimilar laws from other states. You should talk to an attorney.

Question: My ex filed an effort to withhold my ii girls. I don't know why. I have seen no paperwork, he will not talk to me, & he hasn't permit me talk to my girls. All this after he picked them upward from school on my day, didn't tell me, didn't reply my calls, and I didn't talk to them or encounter them till my day the next week. How can I fight this?

Answer: I wonder if he actually filed anything at all. If you haven't been served, it is possible that he is backbiting, especially if he took them instead of a police force officeholder picking them up from you and turning the girls over to his custody.

Take you called the police with a copy of your court lodge? (Make sure the order is filed with the canton recorder where this takes place!) If they don't aid, contact an attorney ASAP!

Question: My ex won't comply with courtroom orders past providing transportation for our fourteen-twelvemonth-old daughter. She refuses to visit with me. She's manipulated by him. I file law reports. They can't force a daughter to become with a parent when they don't want to. What can I do?

Answer: Y'all can speak to an attorney about parental breach and file a motion to modify custody if y'all can prove that this is what is happening, merely honestly, you might do yourself more harm than good if you take that route. I speak from feel on that! If your daughter otherwise is "back to normal" when you have been with her, and away from him, and so I believe yous'll notice her rebuilding your relationship as if none of this happened once she'due south out on her own. (That also comes from a place of experience.)

However, that doesn't undo the hurt and pain and rejection you feel while all this is happening. In the experiences I had, I wasn't able to non take information technology personally, and it resulted in alienation from my children as adults. At that place are not many expert answers hither except to continue putting one foot in front of the other and do the best you can. Ever brand certain your daughter knows you honey her, and that you lot have religion in her.

Question: My youngest son's father has just been involved with him for less than a year. He's verbally calumniating towards me at pickup, and is an active drug user with a history of violence and heroin corruption. He'southward requesting through the court to take my son on a "cruise" out of the state in 2019 with no documentation or proof of this cruise. I would not be immune any communication. I fearfulness my son will exist kidnapped every bit his father is emotionally and mentally sick. Do I have rights equally a custodial parent?

Answer: This question is best asked of an attorney who knows the laws in your state. In full general, the court might non restrict him unless you can testify that he's a flying take a chance. This is where it's important to pull together documentation of calumniating incidents, times he has ignored rules, times he has exposed your son to unsafe circumstances.

Sandraphillips on March 04, 2019:

My child was givin to her father at which time i had a lawyer,i was working with dcbs and the worker i had lied every fourth dimension i went to court my case program was for me to practice substance abuse classes which i did parenting form which i am doing,drug screens three time a week which i take done scene December of 2018 and it dont thing what i do she lies everytime and my lawyer sold me out what can i practise to become my child dorsum

jellygator (author) from U.s.a. on November xi, 2018:

I'm sad to hear that. your swain needs to contact an attorney correct away.

Candy17 on Nov 06, 2018:

Hi my beau was filling a divorce with his previous matrimony, his ex wife block all the contact from him, she is never respond every single message to him, and my boyfriend is willing to back up his kid but he don't know what to do because his ex married woman keep running away from him.. He did send a divorce paper to her already but he never get anything from her.

jellygator (writer) from USA on January 30, 2015:

And mine to you! The scars will marking our lives forever in various means, and if I were to practise information technology over again, I think I would have made some different choices. I promise your future brings all the healing you demand to have all the honey in your lives that should have been expressed all along.

Wicked Stepmother from My Living Room on January 30, 2015:

Thank you for sharing your noesis and expertise. It is always dainty to know there are others out there who can chronicle to what you have gone through. Nosotros accept ane of the well-nigh farthermost step-family cases I have ever seen or heard of as well. We fought for years through the court, social services, and police force systems to stop parental alienation and worse things like Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy. Unfortunately, the system where we live is reactive instead of proactive, biased against fathers and favors mothers. So our instance languished on for years, while the children's lives were being destroyed by all the fighting. In the stop nosotros were granted 90% custody, just the damage was already washed and it was likewise late for our full time, positive influence to help the child in question. Later on that, we decided not to fight anymore, ever again. But I empathise that in these extreme situations it is oftentimes incommunicable to know what to do, and my heart goes out to yous and every other family unit who has to live through this hell.

jellygator (author) from USA on Oct 12, 2013:

Thanks, Marlene!

"Remaining calm is the hardest part." Then true!!

Too, I completely agree that it tin can exist as traumatic equally whatever other type of child abuse. Maybe worse in some means, because information technology'due south tough for a child who was raised that way to bespeak at exactly *what* was abusive. No visible signs, but the emotional scars tin can endure.

Marlene Bertrand from USA on October 12, 2013:

These are the near helpful tips - all in one place. It'due south sad when adults deed like children in matters such equally kid custody. Betwixt my second husband and me, nosotros had our share of custody battles with our ex-spouses. I tin can say without a doubt that your data is true to the max. Remaining calm is the hardest office. Just, at some indicate in dealing with my ex, the battle became so extensive that I felt the children, beingness in the middle of it all, and seeing all of the fighting, put them in an abusive environs. I finally gave in to my ex and let him have custody of the children. Guess what? He had the children for one month then realized how difficult it was to exist a working parent. I made him proceed the children for a whole schoolhouse semester. He needed to know what it felt like to be a full-time parent. By the fourth dimension the semester was over, he was happy to requite the children back and paid child back up to kick. He never fought me on custody again.

Oh, past the style, congratulations on receiving Hub of the Day!

yazziesholebabluch.blogspot.com

Source: https://wehavekids.com/parenting/My-Ex-Wont-Return-My-Kids-Child-Custody-Problems